Know Thyself.  (Inscribed on the entrance archway at the Temple of Apollo in Delphi.)

In these weekly letters, I cover topics designed to spur reflection and awareness that leads to a mindset of intentionality and action which if pursued consistently would yield success and happiness. You want your life to be enjoyable, meaningful, substantive, and successful. No aspect of your life is therefore more meaningful toward achieving those ends than energizing yourself by understanding – where you’ve come from, what your motivations are, what your doubts and fears are, how your immaturities help you and hinder you, how you fool yourself on things big and small, and how your idiosyncrasies spice your world with your unique flavor. It is by this easy therapy you can be more effective in achieving your goals by getting in rhythm.

You come from the cloud of your childhood to this moment. Since the time you came to be aware of your own existence you have been on a quest to know yourself. You look long in a mirror trying to figure out why you are the way you are. It is elusive because you constantly change like the man that cannot step into the same river twice. Your essence is part discovery and part declaration. You struggle with motivation and consistency. Your thinking seems clear, but so it did 10 years ago and you recall your maturity then. You know that you’re influenced by your inputs (TV, internet, friends), but don’t know by how much. You criticize yourself for being a chameleon that changes opinions depending on environment. You can be lazy, putting off for tomorrow those things you know will improve your life, but don’t know the cumulative impact of all those micro choices so the cost of laziness seems only theoretical.

I have found the toughest thing to do in life is come up with an idea for myself that will “get me off the dime” as my uncle once told me. I can come up with a gajillion ideas for other people, but somehow I freeze when I turn the scope on myself. Too often I have let life drift.

“I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving:  To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.

– Oliver Wendel Holmes

This is why I believe an Ironmen group is such an incredibly important tool for success. You can’t drift.

When I say that your life is part discovery, your Ironmates will hold a mirror up to you and show you who you are. You don’t have to rip on each other, but proactive honesty is the best. In my group, we have talked about some hard stuff that has led to our betterment. Both Brad and Rich have called me out on some hypocrisies, but significantly have also pointed out some strengths I was not aware of.  All of my groups have done that.

When I say your life is part declaration, you get to set your goals. You get to make statements about how you’re going to be from this day forward. When I told a friend that because he was consistently 20-30 minutes late to everything people thought he was a flake. He declared to me that he would be on time and demonstrate in other ways that he was reliable. I declared in my late 20’s that I was tired of eating Campbell’s Soup every night and I would work hard till I was successful. In my 30’s, I declared to my group that I would be a Catalyst for positive change in the lives of everyone I came to meet. That became my personal mission statement. These are declarations of Being/Becoming.

When you’re with men who share a like-mindedness about growing, maturing, figuring life out and doing it better, it’s a rare path. Compared to the solitary life where you try to figure it out alone, it’s not even close. It’s magnitudes better.

The Ironmen group not only holds up a mirror providing you with meaningful feedback, they can also help you brainstorm ideas on how to break out of your comfort zone, set daring goals, put a plan together to achieve them, and identify when you might be fooling yourself. One day I stepped out of my comfort zone and told Rich he needed to ask for a raise. We talked it through. He did it the following week. Bingo. Obviously these letters to you are a result of the feedback I got from Brad and Rich.

You are old enough today to know that if you improved your energy and consistency 1% from whatever level you currently hold, then you would be a powerful example of how to live life. If you’re not in a group, ask yourself why you’re not. Is it a bad idea? Is it because you don’t have time? Is it because you don’t have guys you’d trust? Is it because you’re passively in your comfort zone and getting out would be too much? At least be clear on why.

There are levels of you in the future: A good, a better, and a best version. Today you are deciding which version you’re pursuing. I hope you come to ‘Know Thy Best Self”.

To your continued success,
Dave

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