The Letters

/The Letters

What a Man Needs – Part 5

Ownership. That’s a funny word - ownership. To one who has never known real ownership, the word conjures up imagery that might indicate mere possession of a thing whose fate is at the whim of the owner who has all the power of determination, like a slave owner. The owner can possess a thing and enjoy it while it’s pristine and new and discard it when the honeymoon has passed and utility worn down. No, ownership is deeper than the “belongs to” idea. In this “What Men Need” series, I’ve discussed that men must vigorously spend themselves in labor [...]

By | June 23rd, 2017|Uncategorized|

What a Man Needs – Part 4

Self Respect. Though this may seem obvious, a man needs to feel valued and can only find peace with enough data that affirms him, whereas lacking that he will pursue self destructive behaviors. A young man passes by a window and looks at himself to maybe catch his own eye. Is he narcissistic? No, he’s looking for data. Data that will affirm that he’s doing ok, that he’s on the road to respect. Self respect? No, that’s too self absorbed and lacks context. No, he’s checking in the reflection to see if he’s respectable among men, desirable among women, [...]

By | June 16th, 2017|Personal|

What Men Need – Part 3

As stated in part 1 and 2, men need work and need to be on a path to pour out your best value in exchange for the best return available. Return can mean money, certainly, but clearly isn’t the whole picture. But it is an important measuring stick on keeping up with external forces as viewed through an internal lens. Let me unpack that: One’s life is an internal (mental, emotional, psychological, spiritual) endeavor that exists in an external (biological, physical, economic, political) world. In Part 3, I’ll attempt to take a longer view of man in the external [...]

By | June 9th, 2017|Personal|

What Men Need – Part 2

Money. Men need to have a positive relationship with money and it’s not sufficient to say that the more money a man has the more positive the relationship. No, the entire history of mankind is replete with stories of the highs and lows of this complex relationship. Obviously the concept of money is soaked in positive and negative overtones and implications. The world is constantly in a money chase with tremendous good and unspeakable evil as result. Insofar as I sell money for a living, I have thought long and hard about money. I’m in the mortgage business and [...]

By | June 2nd, 2017|Economic, Financial, Relational|

What Men Need – Part 1

Men are fairly simple creatures. Our “needs” are straightforward if we are “in” them; rather, if we have those “need” elements actively working in our life, then our life is moving forward. However, if those elements are not present, our life becomes more complicated, angst ridden, and lacking in direction. I suppose then I must define “needs” as I mean them so as to separate them from mere wants and desires. A man’s need is something that must be present in order for him to fulfill himself without which a man cannot become what he is capable of. It [...]

By | May 26th, 2017|Personal|

Don’t let Your Frog Boil

You all have heard about Boiled Frog Syndrome right?  Put a frog in a pan of boiling water and it jumps out immediately because of the immediate pain.  But put it in tepid water and slowly turn up the heat and the frog will cook to death because it won’t notice the gradual changes in temperature.  I’m not sure if it’s true, but The Syndrome is universally acknowledged as an analogy worth knowing.  You don’t want to be caught unaware that you’re boiling to death and one day wake up and your metaphorically-mixed goose is cooked. I remember coming [...]

By | May 19th, 2017|Personal, Physical|