The Letters

/The Letters

What Men Need – Part 1

Men are fairly simple creatures. Our “needs” are straightforward if we are “in” them; rather, if we have those “need” elements actively working in our life, then our life is moving forward. However, if those elements are not present, our life becomes more complicated, angst ridden, and lacking in direction. I suppose then I must define “needs” as I mean them so as to separate them from mere wants and desires. A man’s need is something that must be present in order for him to fulfill himself without which a man cannot become what he is capable of. It [...]

By | May 26th, 2017|Personal|

Don’t let Your Frog Boil

You all have heard about Boiled Frog Syndrome right?  Put a frog in a pan of boiling water and it jumps out immediately because of the immediate pain.  But put it in tepid water and slowly turn up the heat and the frog will cook to death because it won’t notice the gradual changes in temperature.  I’m not sure if it’s true, but The Syndrome is universally acknowledged as an analogy worth knowing.  You don’t want to be caught unaware that you’re boiling to death and one day wake up and your metaphorically-mixed goose is cooked. I remember coming [...]

By | May 19th, 2017|Personal, Physical|

Feel the Fear

I asked Ironman Lou “Why do you hesitate?” with respect to his girlfriend. He replied: "Fear...Fear that there is someone better out there for me, fear that it will end in divorce, fear that I'm taking on a liability and not an asset. Concerned that I do not have that head over heels feeling (which I've never really had with anyone), concerned that I am not 100% and they say you need to be 100% or that you'll know when the time is right.” Ironman Adam sent me this to an email exchange about fear and excuses: "When I encounter [...]

By | May 12th, 2017|Personal|

What a Woman Needs part 3

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23 This 3-part discussion, “What a Woman Needs”, is intended to provide you insights into the woman you have taken to become your suitable helper, the one you’ve empowered to speak into your life, and who you’ve promised to love, honor, and cherish till death do you part. Those words, * love * honor * cherish, generally are taken as feelings and perspectives - where you look upon your wife through loving eyes; you honor her with a gentle touch; [...]

By | May 5th, 2017|Personal, Relational, Spiritual|

What a Woman Needs part 2

Today I tackle the easy discussion of psychological security as the main driver of a woman’s needs because there is no better word to describe a woman’s psyche than “Easy”. Am I right? Man is not meant to be alone. Nor is woman. In the discussion on the security needs of a woman, psychological security is all encompassing. What I mean by that is a woman’s sense of well-being, when she is the most able to pour out and feel good about her life, is when she feels connected - connected her family, her friends, her work, and connected [...]

By | April 29th, 2017|Personal, Relational|

What a Woman Needs part 1

I can think of nothing more dangerous to my health than addressing this topic. I feel like a conservative speaking at Berkeley. The hubris of the idea that I can summarize a woman’s needs in a page and a half is laughable. But here I go. Wish me luck. With no data to support my thoughts other than my observations in life, I say that most women fall within a couple standard deviations of this idea (I say “standard deviation” with tongue in cheek) - Women need security. There are different kinds and varying levels of security which is [...]

By | April 21st, 2017|Relational|